I do not claim to be a fancy writer or even that interesting enough to have a blog, but I decided to start a blog to track my journey on this Unmarked Path. For some couples getting pregnant was just about as easy as looking at each other. But as my Husband and I have found out it is not that easy for us. We have been married for just over two years.
I have had problems with my monthly cycle since I was in high school. I was on birth control for a couple years. Then before we were married I went off of the birth control because we wanted to start a family soon after getting married. I got my visit from Aunt Flow off and on for the next year. I started going to my OB/GYN and he put me on a hormone to help me ovulate and hopefully concieve. Every month that I took these pills I had to take a home pregnancy test to make sure that I wasn't pregnant before starting the next month's cycle. Every month was the same, getting our hopes up that this might be the month that we would get the two lines, or the positive sign, or what ever symbol that the manufacturers decided to put on the test. Then after the mandatory 10 minutes great disappointment. Then in April of 2011 I quit getting my period at all. I went back to the OB/GYN and went through some more tests, which I have to say a man must have created because a woman would never have thought up something like that.
After the tests came back this time the Doctor let me know that the ultrasound showed that I had an 8 cm cyst in my left ovary. The standard procedure is they operate on anything bigger than 3 cm. So I was scheduled for my first surgery. I was terrified. I have never had surgery besides getting my wisdom teeth removed. The day of the surgery arrives and my Husband, Mom and Mother-in-law see me off on this path to hopefully fix my insides so we can start a family. After the surgery I am brought out to the recovery room. I am still coming out of the anesthesia and I ask my Mom about what the doctor told her. I know that she is just as overwhelmed as I would be and told me the bare basics. I actually did not have an 8 cm cyst. I had a couple of smaller cysts that they drained but the mass they saw on the ultrasound was a fibroid in my uterus. This is the problem that has been blocking our path to parenthood. My mom said that Doctor said I would have to be put into menopause to get rid of this fibroid. I just started bawling. The first thing that came to my mind was this is not supposed to happen to someone who is relatively healthy and young.
In the post op appointment with my OB/GYN he answered so many of the questions that my family and I had about this plan of treatment. We agreed that I would take Lupron shots that would put my body into a menopausal state. This is supposed to shrink the fibroid because hormones are the food that feeds these growths. The shots come with all of the symptoms that natural menopause comes with. Doctor said to expect hot flashes, mood swings, night sweats, decrease in sexual drive, among several other uncomfortable problems. On an up note he did say that his younger patients handled the treatment very well. Well, from the experience I had just with my period I am afraid that my Husband and I will be divorced before this treatment is over. We shall see.
The next bend in the path was how to obtain the shots. Doctor said that usually the shots cost $750 A MONTH. I was sure that there was no way we could afford this treatment even with insurance. The office assured me that there were a couple options that we could persue if my insurance would not cover the shots. The next day that I was at work at the hospital I went to the pharmacy to see what could be done. As an employee of the hospital we have a prescription allowance of $3000 a year per couple. Thank God that Husband and I are healthy and have not touched one cent of this allowance. We figured it out that there are 4 months left in this year and 4 shots cost just under $3000. Oh, and at the hospital pharmacy the shots only cost $657. Then once the new year starts we get another $3000 allowance. So I can get the other two shots to complete the 6 month treatment. I took this a sign that this was the right path to take to treat this fibroid.
Today was my first injection. My sister-in-law is a LPN so I was able to take the shot home and my SIL could give it to me. After work I went over to her house to do the deed. Of course this was a "perfect" oppurtunity to show my 5 and 3 year old nephew and niece that shots don't hurt. Well, I just have to say that Aunt Ashley did great and didn't even flinch when I got poked. I hope that they learned a lesson. LOL
My purpose of this blog is to share my experience going through these miles of my journey. I hope that one day after these shots are done I can go back and read these entries and laugh. I hope that this helps me realize what my attitude is like and take a breath and get back on track. Also I want to share with my family and friends what is going on with me in my head. And maybe there is someone out there that will find my blog and get hope and inspiration that there are things out there that can help a couple find the happiness and joy of starting a family.
Until next time! Ashley :)
Ashley, I think you are so brave to be sharing your story. I am so sorry to hear that you and your husband are struggling with this issue. It sounds like you are on the path to having your dreams come true and I wish you both the best.
ReplyDeleteYou should know that you aren't alone. It took Mike and I over a year to conceive. It turns out I had/have a auto-immune/thyroid disease that had inhibited us from getting pregnant. My endocrinologist put me on meds and literally two months later, I became pregnant. Have they ruled out any and all other causes for you? I would have never thought my thyroid would keep me from getting pregnant-it may be worth looking into if you've never had yours checked. Obviously, I am no doctor-just offering an idea.
I truly do wish you all of the luck and health in the world. Keep us posted! :)